Fifty Shades of Funny
by MissteeFiction
Summary: This one-shot takes place after Fifty Shades Freed. Christian and Anastasia are happily married, years after their first born, Ana and Christian decide to have some fun in the playroom. Add a little alcohol to the mix and they forget to lock the door upon leaving that night. What happens when Theo, their five-year-old son, stumbles upon it? Purely for humour.


**One Shot**

**Fifty Shades of Grey**

This one-shot is strictly written for fits and giggles. I was hanging with my cousin, discussing our favorite novels and how we wish we could see most of them come to life, even fanfictions. This idea was then born. LOL. Amidst ridiculous ideas!

Enjoy?

* * *

**This one-shot takes place after Fifty Shades Freed. Christian and Anastasia are happily married, years after their first born, Ana and Christian decide to have some fun in the playroom. Add a little alcohol to the mix and they forget to lock the door upon leaving that night. What happens when Theo stumbles upon it?**

* * *

It was as simple as any morning at the Greys.

Ana woke up to the sun glaring in her face, and rolling over she decided to force herself to sleep. Instead, her mind began reeling and sleep seemed far away.

Memories of the first time she'd met Christian bombarded her mind. She recalled how handsome he had looked in his office, the way his eyes observed her – unnerved her... and how embarrassed she'd been by her humiliating entrance.

Her arm fell over her face as her cheeks burned even now at the memory. She was so innocent back then. So pure.

She still wondered every now and then what Christian saw in her. He was so perfect, despite his many flaws within. She loved him, so much to this day. Even more, if it were humanly possible.

She could never see herself married, better yet, with a man so intimately until she met Christian, and now she couldn't imagine a world without him.

He'd shown her so many wonders that the world had to offer. He had cherished her, loved her and proven to her that real love could exist outside of far-fetched novels. Those same romantic novels she lived for, she now _lived._

Every single day of her life alongside Christian.

"Mrs. Grey!" he grumbled beside her, rolling over to seek her absent body. A smile too wide for her face took hold of her as she moved over to lie in his outstretched arms.

He peeked an eye open and grinned at her. She shook her head at how insanely handsome this man was, and all hers too. Tracing the scars on his chest, her heart still broke at the sight as fury bubbled up inside of her at the offender of those marks.

His fingers grabbed hold of hers, not to push them away, only to lay butterfly kisses on them before his own hands found her hips.

He placed his head on her belly and she rolled her eyes. She hated that part of herself so much.

"Beautiful," he said as if he could read her thoughts. His fingers traced the marks on her skin idly, and she shook her head quickly.

"Come back here!"

"Why? You look so beautiful. These remind me of how amazing you are – and the wonderful miracle you brought into this world."

On cue, Phoebe's baby monitor blared loudly, her cries echoing in the room and probably waking up another little monster.

A joyful smile replaced the faraway look on Christian's face as he stretched out.

"Two wonderful miracles," she corrected and he stood up.

"I'll get her."

She beamed gratefully at her thoughtful husband. Christian had always been an amazing man, and now that was only doubled by how amazing of a father he proved he could be.

Later that day, Ana found herself in the kitchen, cooking dinner for her family. Christian had just returned from work and sat in the living room with little Pheobe perched on his lap as he fed her baby food.

She admired her husband, her eyes glistening with tears as usual. He just shook his head at her, laughing under his breath before returning to his daughter.

"Theo!" Ana called. "Dinner is nearly ready."

_Where could that boy be? _

Ana huffed after the third try and decided to search for her son. His room turned up empty, with only toys splayed messily on the floor in sight, that she made a note to clean up after dinner. Even hers and Christian's bedroom was clear.

"Theo!" she called once more.

"Mommy!" a little voice rang out and she frowned as she briskly walked toward the direction of that voice.

Gasping, she found her son standing in front of the bright red door she tried her best to keep him away from.

Her cheeks pinked as she inched towards him but she begged herself to stay calm.

"What are you doing, little one?" she asked gently despite her inner turmoil.

"Nothing... What's this?" he asked softly, his curious eyes pointing towards the door.

She stifled an amused smile. "Oh, that's daddy's... office."

"But why is it locked? Daddy always lets me play in his office."

"He does?" Ana frowned, a little surprised, recalling all the times she'd caught Theo up to no good in Christian's office. Her husband was too lenient.

"Most times," he corrected himself and gave her a toothy smile.

It warmed her heart.

"Well, this isn't really an office. It's daddy's playroom," she said. She hoped he would accept that and join them downstairs but of course, her little son was as curious as ever. A trait he had inherited from her...

"A playroom? Like with PlayStations and stuff?" he asked with excited eyes.

She giggled, failing miserably to hold back her laughter. Nostalgia washed over her as she recalled those exact words that were uttered by her the first day Christian introduced her to this very room.

"Something like that. Let's go downstairs?" Ana suggested and finally, he relented.

The next day, Ana and Christian decided that since Theo and Pheobe would be at Christian's Mom, a little playing wouldn't be a bad idea.

One thing led to another, and alcohol was introduced to their little game.

That night, they stumbled to bed in their drunken state, with hushed giggles and googly eyes.

* * *

"Christian!" Ana groaned the next morning at the obnoxious blaring of his alarm. He grunted and rolled over to silence it.

Sighing, she tried to fall back into her sleep but unfortunately, it wouldn't claim her.

"So much pain!" Christian complained, searching for something over Ana in their drawer. She huffed and sat up in annoyance but he only took this as an invitation.

Shaking her head, she got up to shower. Close to sleep in the soothing splash of the water, she relished in the relief it brought her. Stupid hangover.

"Ana!" Christian's panicked voice had her jolting in place. She slipped and shrieked as her butt fell on the wet floor of the shower.

Grabbing the towel, she stumbled to her feet and ran out of the bathroom in search of her husband.

"Ana!"

"Christian, oh my God, what–"

"Baby, drop the–"

"Christian! What the hell?!"

"I don't know! You tell me. Didn't you lock the door?" Christian demanded angrily.

Her cheeks pinked but more out of fury rather than embarrassment.

"Me?! I could barely walk. Didn't you?!"

"No! I ... don't even remember going to bed!" Christian justified.

"Look, shut up and just get that out of his hands!"

Christian rolled his eyes and the both of them inched cautiously over to their son as if he was holding a ticking time bomb.

"Baby boy, drop the dild–"

"Christian!" Ana scolded, her eyes bulging out of her head.

"Sorry!" he giggled.

Giggled!

Little Theo turned to them in surprise, his wide eyes studying them innocently as they warily approached him.

"Mommy! I found daddy's toy!"

Christian scowled. "It's not daddy's! It's..."

"Shut up! Baby, give it to mommy!"

Finally, he dropped the damn toy and Ana and Christian could relax. Ana fell to the ground and hugged Theo while Christian just sat down on the floor and collected his breaths as if he had been running a marathon.

"Baby, don't play in daddy's playroom... office... again okay?"

Theo nodded and ran off while Christian stared at Ana as if she'd grown a third head, cocking a questioning brow at her.

She shrugged and rested her head on his shoulder.

"That was ..."

"Fucked up," Christian completed. They both shook their head.

"Hey," Christian started. Ana turned to him in question, lifting her head up.

"At least it wasn't a butt plug."

"Christian!"


End file.
